2. "Meditation!"

 

Meditation!

As far as I know, the whole point of meditation is to reach that zero conscious mind, where you are devoid of any thoughts at all.
Meditation can be of different types, and every individual has its own unique way of meditating.

I am no beginner to this ritual.
I have found out through numerous trial and error that my biggest ally is my perseverance, and my biggest enemy is my inconsistency. Both are, to each other, mortal enemies.
That is why I have been active in meditation. I started some time ago, as a beginner. I used guided meditations, but never stayed consistent. So, I dropped it several times, due to procrastination.
However, I stayed persistent. And now I am good enough at it.

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Today, for the first time in a while, I meditated. I no longer use any external medium to enter that meditative state. But the maximum I had meditated till today was ten minutes.

I have been overwhelmed by all these heavy things going on in my student life. It has been overbearing.
That is why I decided to take the help of meditation, to restart my mind, fresh.

I have formulated my own meditation method. It is a series of steps I take from start till end. I think it is around eight steps. It includes the chakras (even though I do not have any formal knowledge about what they are).
To me, what my inner mind says, works.

So, I started meditation today, and instead of the ten minutes timer, I decided to switch to the stopwatch this time.

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1. [Breathing!]

And, as I started…
“I sat still, spine straight, yet in a comfortable position. And started emphasizing my breaths, as I took a bunch of heavy breaths till I was comfortable with them. I made sure to let my mind know that ‘this is my world now. Nothing else matters right now.’
As I took breaths, I felt the flow of my breathing. (I did not care about whether I exhaled through mouth or nose, I exhaled through my nose.) I felt the flow of air from my nostrils, then to the throat, then to my lungs, and vice versa.
It was fun, and comfortable.

After a few breaths, I regained my normal breathing, and went to the next step.

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2. [Stage 1: The White Lotus!]

The universal white lotus.

“To me, there exists an invisible silver white lotus with many petals. It is floating just above my head. To me, it is what connects me with the universe.
So, my second step is to gain the power of the universe. I know it sounds weird, but this works for me. As I said, everybody has their own unique subconscious mind.
For me, when I enter my second stage, this white lotus, which is a white silver ball of light at the same time, starts acting like a channel, from outside my body to the inside of my body.
Then, several white lines or rays of light enter my body through that channel, from above my head, through the lotus, and then inside my body. The thing is, once these white lines enter my body, it seems they cannot escape. So, they keep reflecting inside my body, reaching every corner. And I, for some reason, feel energized as that happens. It does not matter how long it happens, it seems these lines get absorbed by my body, as a limit reaches or something, I do not know.
Anyhow, that is my second step.
Now, from this moment on-wards, I am doing these two steps consecutively. I always have an eye out for my breathing, and I always have an eye out for this flow of white lines. And as these white lines accumulate inside me, eventually getting absorbed, I feel powerful, as I continue to go toward my third step.

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3. [Stage 2: The Third Eye!]

The Third Eye thing.

As for my third eye, it is a bit different from what the name indicates. At the start, in the middle of my forehead, between my eyebrows (just above it), I assume a third eye opening, for a bit.
Then, suddenly fire comes out through it, and starts going on a rampage. It is weirdly fun to observe that process. But it is not comfortable. Then, I try to bring out water from my third eye. So, a flow of water with the same intensity also comes out of this eye. Now both fire and water start spinning as the third eye vanishes. Now, the water extinguishes the fire, and the fire evaporates the water. But both of them are indefinite.
Soon, they form like two little symbols of water and fire (blue and yellow), and start spinning in the center of the forehead. That is when I become comfortable. It is amazing how that felt today!
Now, every water and fire inside my body has been condensed into those two spinning symbols at my forehead.
Now, I have to keep this feeling (it feels like there is something going on my forehead, it is comfortable, but visible). I have to keep this feeling alive through my meditation along with the last two also.
After staying here for a bit, I start to move toward the next step. At this time, I no longer cared about what time was, and other things. And I also started to keep my thoughts in check (I told myself these are thoughts, no need for them. Delete them. And continue what you were doing).

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4. [Stage 3: The Green Sapling!]

The Throat Sapling
I do not know if this is the right criteria or not, but I am comfortable with it.
After moving from the forehead – oh - btw, now there are two light balls visible to me, okay?
One just above my head, and another at the center of my forehead.
In this third one, I notice a green leaf, or is it a bud, in my throat. As I was unaware of what to do with it, I somehow realized its use. I started chanting “OM”, slowly. It was a weirdly comfortable feeling. And after some time, I observed that the bud or leaf started to spin, on the frequency of my throat, as I chanted “OM”. It was weird. But it felt comfortable. I did not want to move to the next step, as that “OM” chant felt peaceful. I stayed there for a long time, always keeping my previous steps in check and at the same time, trying to keep the leaf spinning.

It was wonderful. Soon, I noticed a green sphere of light shining on my throat area, so I decided to move on.
I decided to move to the next step.

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5. [Stage 4: The Golden Ball!]

The Golden Ball of Sphere!
This was a weird one, as I only knew the existence of an unknown sphere between my lungs.
I focused on my breathing, along with the chant too. After some time, I noticed that my lungs started glowing golden. I felt powerful for some reason. My next task was to keep this golden thing into one small concise space. So, I did nothing. And continued with my breathing.

After some time, I noticed there formed a golden ball, which expanded as I breathed, and contracted to its original form, as I exhaled. The lungs remained golden, but now only when I emphasized them. I stayed there. And imagined all the oxygen reaching every corner of my still body. This feeling was comfortable too.

Now, time to move to the next step.

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6. [Step 5: The Heart Disk!]

The Red Heart Disk!
This was a red disk, beautifully crafted by flower designs, horizontally spinning near my heart area.
As I noticed it, it started spinning. And as it started spinning, I started noticing this strange feeling of all my blood flowing through my veins and arteries, to and fro from heart to body, and vice versa.
I stayed there. It was calm, yet beautiful.
Then, I moved to the next step.

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7. [Step 6: The White Core!]

The Pure White Core!
This was by far the most stubborn chakra sphere I have encountered.
I was in a comfortable state, still, and had been focusing on all the previous steps so far. That is when I encountered my core sphere. It was around my belly button, but in the middle of my body, not on the surface. This feeling was weird.
Then, I tried to focus on it. I for some reason wanted it to be white. Pure white.
But it was stubbornly beautifully impure.
I saw a white sphere, with dim lights, nearly fully covered with black thorns. It looked beautiful, and uncomfortable. I wanted to get rid of those thorns. So, I did nothing. I stayed there, chanting “OM”. I did nothing, and wished to see a good bright core there. It was hard, very hard, and uncomfortable. But I was already in a state where I would lose everything I had built so far if I were to even think about anything useless. So, I stayed there. I do not know how long. My chanting became louder. It was weird. And after what felt like a long time passed, I saw my core. A pure white sphere, glowing proudly. I was weirdly satisfied. It was good.
I decided to stay there. I knew I was running out of time, but it felt too peaceful to let go.
So, I stayed, doing everything simultaneously.
After some time, I decided to move on to the last step.

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8. [The Root Flower!]

The Yellow Flower with roots!
I know that in chakra awakening rules, the root chakra comes first as far as I have read back in the days.
But to me, the root chakra exists for some other reason.
After moving from the core area, I decided to focus on the endpoint of my spinal cord. I imagined a yellow flower, whose roots flowed outside my body, passed through whatever I was sitting on, and went inside earth. Now, as I started focusing on this flower, I noticed something.
Everything which had been accumulated inside me, from the first chakra till the core chakra, which had started to become a mess, entangling with each other, started flowing toward the root chakra.
The flower started absorbing everything, and everything went back to mother earth.
What I felt at that time… it was nothing. I felt nothing now. And it was... well, nothing. I do not have any words to express that feeling.
And that is how I reached the zero conscious mind, while meditating.

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Now that I felt nothing, I could stay there for as long as I desired. I am quite confident, for some reason, that I could stay in this state for hours, without any water or food.
But as I had responsibilities to fulfill, as my student self wanted to, I decided to not prolong this state. Even though I did not want to come back to reality, I chose to come back. I started thinking.
I told myself, “ok, that is enough for today. Let us come back tomorrow.”
Then, I moved my fingers a bit, as everything in my body had become still. I decided to move slowly. First, fingers, then I irked my body gently. I felt that my legs had become numb by now. So, I gave up on my legs. And after becoming comfortable with moving my body, I opened my eyes, slowly.

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I yawned, stretched my hands a bit, and then lay down for a moment, after stopping my stopwatch.

“21:26:49”

That was the time shown on my stopwatch.
I had successfully meditated for more than 20 minutes. This was by far the highest record for me.
And the most important thing, my mind felt clear. I no longer felt frustrated, or overwhelmed.
Even though the problem still existed, I felt ready to face it now. I felt ready to organize my thoughts.
It was a wonderful experience.

And then I realized that today was Monday, and I had to write a blog, so I am writing it right now.
By far, I have stayed consistent with my weekly blog, I think. Every Monday, for the last three weeks, I think. I really wish to become consistent.

Perseverance! I love you!
Consistency! Love me please!

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